![]() ![]() I’m literally the size of an Oompa Loompa.” “I tipped over, hit my head on the desk, and then had to call for Nana to get up. ![]() “I tried to bend over and touch my toes this morning,” I tell the girls. “Hey, we all have to get our jollies somewhere, right? For me, it’s negging Brody on Instagram and choking my baby mama in breathing classes.” Sabrina throws back her head and cackles. I’ve done that twice now and each time, I’ve seen him shoving the shirt down the apartment’s trash compactor.” When he posts something, I’ll wait a day or so and then pop on to comment about how cool it is that he and my grandpa are rocking the same shirt. “I signed up for a fake Instagram account so I can troll him. Selfies are a sign of commitment.” He’d expounded on this topic at some length after instructing me to keep my Tinder account active and to not tell anyone I was having a kid. He thinks that any pictures of him with a girl pressed up to his side would drive other potential hookups away. “Does he really refuse to take selfies with a girl, or was he making that up to toy with me?” Sabrina asks. “Brody’s problem is that he has zero respect for the opposite sex. ![]()
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